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What to do for a Calendar?

Here it is, almost the end of January and I’m still calendar-less. Every year there’s a special place on my office wall for Sue Richard’s Breast of Canada Calendar. I have most of them still, starting with the premier edition from 2001. This year, Sue’s taking some time off for medical reasons and while she’s trying to get better my wall sits bare.

Out of desperation I bought a cheesy retro-style calendar at the grocery store last week on 75% clearance…but it stinks. The space for writing on it is Huge but I’m not in need of a datebook (I do all that on the computer). I want beautiful Art, pictures of Women, support to a good cause!

Please Sue, get well and make me a 2009 calendar. pretty please?

In the meantime, are there any calendars out there that are in need of a good home? I’d appreciate any links you might care to leave in the comments. Thank you. 🙂

Late: 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days

I’m a day late. In my case, it’s only that I’m a day late in joining the chorus of others Blogging for Choice but for a lot of women the words “I’m late” start a spiral of emotions and life altering decision-making.

At the Art Gallery of Windsor, there’ll be a film screening tomorrow night, January 24, 2008 @ 7pm of a film that shows what happens where there is no choice for women.

4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days
Winner of the 2007 Cannes Film Festival Palme d’Or Award
Romania 2007
Director: Cristian Mungiu;
113 minutes
Rating: PG
Principal Cast: Anamaria Marinca, Vlad Ivanov, Laura Vasiliu, Alexandru Potocean

The film 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days is the powerful story of a young woman who gets and illegal abortion in small-town Romania during the dying days of Communist rule.

When Gabita decides to terminate her pregnancy – a crime in Romania from 1966 until 1989 – her fiercely loyal university dorm-mate and best friend, Otilia (Anamaria Marinca), accompanies her to a hotel room to be “helped” by Mr. Bebe (Vlad Ivanov), the only black-market practitioner they can afford. When the foul Bebe requests something far more precious than money for his services, the girls descend into a harrowing journey of the soul that is nothing short of shattering.

Taking place over a single Saturday in 1987, the film holds an enormous emotional gravitas.It evolves into a profound exploration not only of sorority in harsh times but of choices and responsibility when options are few.

The Art Gallery of Windsor is in downtown Windsor, Ontario.
401 Riverside Drive West Phone 519-977-0013
Tickets: $10 per person (includes Gallery admission)
Advance tickets available in the AGW’s Gift Shop, 519-977-1400

Gearing Up My Level 40 Shadow Priest

She’s enjoying life as a level 40 with a nice new brown ram to ride. Travel is faster and now I can outrun the beasties of Stranglethorn Vale. Looking at my character though, I realized that zipping through the 30s so quickly as I did, I didn’t pay attention to what I was wearing and my gear is all old and out-of-date. It was decent when I hit 30 but now at 40 it’s in serious need of an update.

I’m looking for gear that will give me as much shadow damage bonus as possible. Mana regen is also welcome but since getting Shadowform at level 40 I’m doing some pretty decent damage. I figure the more shadow damage I can cause the better.

As a tailor I can make myself some pretty sweet stuff, just as I had planned when I chose the profession. I used the Firefox WOWArmory plugin to find my character on the server. Then I inspected my gear and discovered that mousing over each item brought up a “Search for Upgrades” button. Clicking this gave a list of recommended gear. I recognized many as items I could tailor. I did have to return to Stormwind to learn Shadoweave tailoring from Jalane Ayrole (coords 26,77). She’s underground with the Warlock Trainer.

Searching for the items on Wowhead.com gave me the list of materials for creating each item. (Armory does this too.) I logged into WoW, sent my tailor all the mats she was going to need and started crafting.

Here’s what she’s wearing now:

Dreamweave Gloves
Regal Sash of Healing
Shadoweave Pants
Dreamweave Vest

Rob sent me a Ruby Crown of Restoration for Winter Veil so that’s my new headpiece.

For now I’m keeping my bracers: Lunar Bindings of Shadow Wrath.

I’ve got Black Mageweave Shoulders ready for as soon as I hit level 41.

At level 43 I’ll add Shadoweave Boots.

I need a new cloak but haven’t decided on that yet. I also need to revisit my rings and necklace. A trinket or two would be nice.

I like that I’ve been able to make so much of my gear myself and I’m glad I saved mats in my bank. In total she’s now got 144 bonus Shadow Damage and 116 bonus for healing (after all, she is a priest).

Framing Life

I have been collecting frames for the past two years or so. When I see a cheap or clearance frame I buy it and stash it away because framed photos make great gifts and because I’ve always wanted a home with treasured photos hung all around. I did that a little bit at my old house before we moved this summer but this past weekend was a photo marathon. I sorted through hundreds of photos, picking out my top favourites. I printed out about 30 of these and now they are hanging all over the place around the upstairs here at Rob’s.

Some are from our trip to Venice Beach a few years ago. We stayed in nearby Marina del Rey when we went to E3 in 2005. Hanging up the pictures of that and the Santa Monica pier at night bring it all back. There’s also a photo from Catalina Island near where we went snorkelling. That was a different trip — for E3 2006.

On another wall are photos from Vancouver, Pelee Island, and someplace in farm country between Windsor and Wasaga Beach. The trip to Vancouver was for NorthernVoice/Moosecamp 2007, Pelee Island was for beginning work in the archives there related to my history research project, and the farm is from the trip home from our two-family vacation this past summer.

In the kitchen there’s a picture of budding echinacea from a garden in Scarbourough where my dear friends Karen & Mitch live. There’s a picture of my grandparents’ Pelee farm that I have yet to hang.

Tucked in a collage frame is a small picture of me. Apple picking with two of my own children and a friend’s daughter, before my third baby was born. I am part of all of this too.

I’ve got one or two hanging frames left but I have some standing frames that I will probably adapt for hanging on the wall. It makes my heart sing to see all these wonderful things that I’ve done, all the wonderful places that I’ve been. It reminds me that I want more experiences like these in my life and that a goal of living is to do the things you enjoy.

It’s been a frustration of mine that so many digital photos sit on hard-drives, gathering virtual dust: unloved, unshared, un-experienced. Hanging the pictures on the walls opens conversations with friends and family about travel, adventure, people, other family, other friends, and all of our histories. It reflects who we are: the people that live here have identities and we can share that via what we choose to show on our walls.

A la Judith Butler, we communicate who we are through our representations of ourselves. I am more than a blank wall – I am Pelee Island, Vancouver, Venice; a boat, a barn, a bike. I am my children, my lover, my garden, my friends. I am me.

Fun as a Shadow Priest in World of Warcraft.

I love my new respec as a dwarf Shadow Priest. The last three levels zoomed by and I am now a proud level 35 with my tailoring maxed out at 300 until I hit level 50.

I was able to make myself some great new gear: a Spider Belt and also Robe of Power. The Spider Belt is resistant to immobilizing effects and the cool blue robe gives +12 Intellect and +8 Mana and increases damage and healing done by magical spells and effects by up to 14.

I picked up a Thistlefur Branch of Shadow Wrath for my off-hand too, adding +11 Shadow damage.

I had good luck soloing a pile of quests in Stranglethorn Vale, killing NPCs up to level 38. For a priest this is new territory for me. When I was a combo Holy/Discipline/Shadow priest I could never go more than one level above my own. I think it’s the Vampiric Embrace talent that makes the biggest difference. When I use that, health regenerates every time I cause Shadow damage to the target. I have run out of mana but the only time I’ve run out of health is if I get mobbed (or if some Horde starts beating on me while I’m fighting an NPC).

I start out with Holy Fire to get my target’s attention. This has a long cast so the only time it’s useful is if I initiate the attack. Next is Shadow Word Pain. Then I put on my shield, apply the Vampiric Embrace and by this time the target has caught up to me and has started work on me. If they’re a caster I watch for the glowing hands and use Silence but otherwise I use Mind Flay > Mind Blast > Mind Flay [repeat] until they die. I’ve got these spells attached to number keys to make it easier:

2 = Holy Fire
3 = Pain
4 = Shield
5 = Mind Blast
6 = Mind Flay

Silence and Vampiric Embrace are on my left action bar so I hit those with the mouse with my left hand while the right hand is going through the number keys on my keyboard.

If I’m getting bored or low on mana I use #7 which is my wand. It’s not as powerful since I dropped the wand specialization from the Discipline Talent Tree but it still works, especially if I’m shielded.

Grouping is a bit different because a priest has to keep an eye on the other players’ health and heal accordingly. Vampiric Embrace saves the day again because it heals everyone in the party as long as I’m doing damage but Heal and Renew come in handy too.

WoW Talents: Time to Respec my Level 32 Dwarf Priest

It’s taking forever but I haven’t given up yet. The last time I redid my talents I switched from an emphasis on a Holy/Healing priest to put more talents in the Shadow tree so that I could do more damage when I’m out trying to level by myself. I like healing in a group so this was a big decision for me but sometimes it’s hard to find a group to join (and I’m tired of being a low level player.) I want a mount!

Over the past 10 or so levels I’ve picked up some great gear with plus shadow damage and plus healing spells. It’s like the gear was designed specifically for a shadow priest. My favourite spells are Holy Fire — I open with this one as it has a longer cast on it. By opening with it I can cast before the target knows they’re under attack. My other favourite is Mind Flay. It even sounds dangerous. It creates a line of light between my priest and the target — almost like their belly buttons are joined. I can just imagine the target’s brains oozing out through their navel while I flay their mind. Yum.

But it isn’t enough. I’m still not gaining levels as quickly as I’d like so I’ve done some research and decided to respec completely in the Shadow tree. At level 32 I’ll be able to keep Mind Flay and reach all the way down the tree to Vampiric Embrace.

I’ll be a crummy healer but I should do much better at grinding/leveling. I’ll hang on to the gear I’ve got with the plus healing bonuses so that if I ever am in a group I’ll be worth something. I think I might miss my wand specialization from the discipline tree that I like to use when I’m getting low on mana but I’m hoping with this shadow spec I may not run out of mana. Here’s hoping.

Here’s the tree I’ve got planned:

• Spirit Tap (5/5)
• Blackout (3/5)
• Improved Shadow Word Pain (2/2)
• Improved Psychic Scream (2/2)
• Improved Mind Blast (5/5)
• Mindflay (1/1)
• Shadow Reach (2/2)
• Shadow Weaving (1/5)
• Vampiric Embrace (1/1)
• Silence (1/1)

And in another half-level I’m going to add
Improved Vampiric Embrace (1/2) and then (2/2). I’d also like the Focused Mind to reduce mana costs of Mind Flay, Mind Blast, and Mind Control but that will have to wait. As long as I can keep carrying mana and healing potions I’m okay.

Here’s a peek at the build I’m planning from the play chart at worldofwarcraft.com.

When Someone You Know is Really, Really Sad

When you live with someone and they’re sad and not talking I guess it’s natural to think it’s your fault. But if the person is sad to the point that they’re not talking, not acting like they usually do, are withdrawn, sleeping a lot, maybe crying for no reason that you can see, it’s most likely not you. It’s probably something or many things in the person’s life that are crushing them. Their depression is not your fault.

Just like they say on the airlines, “Put your own mask on first.” You have to take care of yourself before you can help the person who is sad. There is a helpful page here from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health that might give you some ideas on relating to a depressed person. The highlights:

• Try to be as supportive, understanding and patient as possible.
• Speak in a calm, quiet voice.

Mariana originally uploaded by јad
• Stay focused on one subject at a time. It may be difficult for your relative to concentrate.
• If the person is quiet and withdrawn, break the ice with neutral, non-threatening statements, such as “It seems a bit warm in here.”
• Be patient and wait. It may take a while for your loved one to respond.
• Your ability to listen is a valuable resource to your relative or friend. Depression causes people to talk at length about how bad they feel, yet they may not be ready to discuss solutions to their problems. Listening and letting the person know, in a neutral manner, that you have heard what he or she has said, is a valuable and supportive contribution. You do not have to offer immediate solutions.
• If your relative or friend is irritable, you probably need to slow down, lower your expectations and use a very neutral approach. Neutral comments about the weather, what you are making for dinner or other routine subjects are the safest way to develop a dialogue. Listen for opportunities to acknowledge or add to your relative’s responses. At these times, conversations about important decisions or issues are unlikely to be productive. You may need to plan to discuss important issues at a later date.
• Whenever someone suffers from a serious illness, it is natural for family members to feel worried and stressed. In an effort to spend time comforting or helping their loved ones, family members may give up their own activities….Preserve your interests outside of the family and apart from your ill relative.

Beyond this I don’t know what else is helpful. If I figure it out I’ll be sure to post something. Sometimes when a person is depressed they feel awfully guilty about disturbing the lives of the people around them, which only contributes to their sense of worthlessness, causing them to further isolate themselves so as not to disturb others even more which leads to sadness over loneliness and rejection — which makes them feel even more worthless, etc etc etc. I don’t know that a fitness class or even a housekeeper can help at this stage. Maybe a counsellor?

Not Publishing

Over the past three days I’ve written four posts that I’ve decided not to publish. They’re too angsty, too sad, too personal, or contain information that might haunt me someday.

It helps to write because it helps me see just how deep this sadness runs. When a post turns to things thirty years old I see that this pain is old. How I got this old I don’t know.

Writing keeps me from closing down completely, even if it isn’t ever read by anyone. And that is good.

An Awesome List of Web 2.0 Apps

Holy schmoly what a list! If you’re looking for a way to tell a story using Web 2.0 tools you’ve got to look at this list of what’s out there at this moment web history:

http://cogdogroo.wikispaces.com/StoryTools

The list was compiled by Alan Levine and works best when you’ve already got your story idea or concept developed into an outline. Once you’ve done that, skim the list by category and pick the tool that sounds like the best match.

Hat tip to Brian Lamb at Abject Learning.

Counsellor, housekeeper, or personal trainer?

I’ve switched from snacking on m&m’s to jumbo organic raisins. I figure the sugar rush is the same (and should help me stay awake) but at least with the raisins I’m getting some iron. If I’m so low on energy the extra iron might help me feel more energized. I also found a coupon for a free trial at a fitness centre. I’m waiting for a call back to make an appointment for a tour.

I’ve realized that I really need to get un-depressed. And that all the ideas I have cost money. That money could go three ways:

• to a counsellor
• to a housekeeper
• to a fitness centre

It takes time to find a good counsellor and I don’t have time. And dealing with problems, as much fun as that is (not), forces you to think about those problems. I’m not interested.

The housekeeper idea is really, really, really tempting. I can pay someone to do the things I cannot manage and this would free up the time I would spend doing them, thinking about doing them, planning to do them, and remembering I didn’t do them yet. And I would have a shiny bathroom and clean floors at least once each week. See how this is tempting? But I’m really not in a position where I feel I can afford this type of luxury. Nobody learns any valuable housekeeping skills or the value of pitching in. I don’t think I’m ready to give up on my family yet.

So that leaves exercising. I don’t think I was this depressed when I was dancing and teaching 3+ days each week. That was about one and a half years ago. I felt good, I looked good, I felt good about myself. This is not how I feel lately. I feel worn out: physically and emotionally. I feel gross. Tired. I’m depressed. It seeps into everything I do, all my relationships, all my activities. I’m sure people around me are tired of it.

I’ve found a gym that’s not too far away that is open 24 hours. (I cannot believe that grad students at Windsor don’t get access to the facilities on campus.) This other gym I’ve found has a variety of classes at a variety of times. I know aerobics is different from ballet or swing dancing but it’s what I’ve found. There is yoga and pilates which I’ve studied as a dancer so I know I like these already. I’d prefer a dance class but there isn’t one available on a night I can attend. I need something with a flexible schedule and I think this is worth a try. If I have somewhere to go, something to do (besides schoolwork) it might motivate me to keep going afterwards and get my academic career back on track.

And if I’m energized enough I might be able to look at housework without being overwhelmed. And if I feel better about myself maybe I won’t need counselling after all.

It’s worth a try at least. It could be just the solution to All My Problems.

Now I just hope that phone call comes before I change my mind.