Counsellor, housekeeper, or personal trainer?

Candace, 15 November 2007, 3 comments
Categories: Aging, Bodies, Happy, Life, Relationships, School

I’ve switched from snacking on m&m’s to jumbo organic raisins. I figure the sugar rush is the same (and should help me stay awake) but at least with the raisins I’m getting some iron. If I’m so low on energy the extra iron might help me feel more energized. I also found a coupon for a free trial at a fitness centre. I’m waiting for a call back to make an appointment for a tour.

I’ve realized that I really need to get un-depressed. And that all the ideas I have cost money. That money could go three ways:

It takes time to find a good counsellor and I don’t have time. And dealing with problems, as much fun as that is (not), forces you to think about those problems. I’m not interested.

The housekeeper idea is really, really, really tempting. I can pay someone to do the things I cannot manage and this would free up the time I would spend doing them, thinking about doing them, planning to do them, and remembering I didn’t do them yet. And I would have a shiny bathroom and clean floors at least once each week. See how this is tempting? But I’m really not in a position where I feel I can afford this type of luxury. Nobody learns any valuable housekeeping skills or the value of pitching in. I don’t think I’m ready to give up on my family yet.

So that leaves exercising. I don’t think I was this depressed when I was dancing and teaching 3+ days each week. That was about one and a half years ago. I felt good, I looked good, I felt good about myself. This is not how I feel lately. I feel worn out: physically and emotionally. I feel gross. Tired. I’m depressed. It seeps into everything I do, all my relationships, all my activities. I’m sure people around me are tired of it.

I’ve found a gym that’s not too far away that is open 24 hours. (I cannot believe that grad students at Windsor don’t get access to the facilities on campus.) This other gym I’ve found has a variety of classes at a variety of times. I know aerobics is different from ballet or swing dancing but it’s what I’ve found. There is yoga and pilates which I’ve studied as a dancer so I know I like these already. I’d prefer a dance class but there isn’t one available on a night I can attend. I need something with a flexible schedule and I think this is worth a try. If I have somewhere to go, something to do (besides schoolwork) it might motivate me to keep going afterwards and get my academic career back on track.

And if I’m energized enough I might be able to look at housework without being overwhelmed. And if I feel better about myself maybe I won’t need counselling after all.

It’s worth a try at least. It could be just the solution to All My Problems.

Now I just hope that phone call comes before I change my mind.


3 Responses, Leave a Reply
  1. jacqui583
    18 November 2007, 4:23 pm

    Well all I can say is more power to you, sister. I was working out a couple of years (and 15 pounds) ago. I have rheumatoid arthritis, but I found working with free weights and cable machines worked well for me. I looked awesome (for an old lady! lol) and felt great. Then I got out of the routine and I’ll be damned if I can get back into it! I have no excuses either; I have a gym at work (although I don’t particularly like it much), and I do have access to the U gym as an undergrad, but I’ve never stepped foot inside. I even have a treadmill at home that’s just a huge dust collector! I know I should get back into it. Sigh.

  2. Alexandra
    19 November 2007, 5:35 am

    I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling down.

    I say amen to exercising. I always feel better when I’m doing yoga and walking a lot.

    And as for counsellors – who needs them when we’ve all got repression down to an art?

    I really hope you feel better soon.

  3. Candace
    19 November 2007, 12:37 pm

    @ Jacqui: exercising at home doesn’t work for me either. When I’m at home I feel isolated and disconnected. I appreciate the luxury of ‘working’ at home and the unique position of being a student who can do this but I just don’t feel enthusiastic about going in the basement where Rob’s exercise stuff is and jumping on. The bike does better as a drying rack for the hand washables.

    @ Alexandra: thanks for the cheer up. I hope I feel better soon too.

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